A Headscarf, a Handshake: Insult or Not?

There has been lots of coverage in the media recently about the death of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and the visit of President and Mrs. Obama to pay their respects and meet King Salman. During this meeting Mrs. Obama did not wear a headscarf. Some feel this was disrespectful. For the full story click here.

We were told that Crown Prince Abdullah had been very pleased with the hospitality extended to him during an earlier visit to Houston and wished to reciprocate. He graciously granted Mayor Brown a courtesy visit. I was fortunate enough to attend that meeting as did a few members of the trade mission including two other women.

While we were all dressed very conservatively, none of us wore an abaya or headscarf. There were no complaints or accusations of disrespect. I doubt we would have been allowed into the private office if we had been dressed inappropriately.

Saudi Arabia’s King Salman, right, and Michelle Obama, center, hold a receiving line for delegation members at the Erga Palace in the capital of Riyadh on Tuesday. (Saul Loeb/AFP)

As regards handshakes, throughout the visit, the women in the delegation conducted ourselves as Mrs. Obama did. We kept our hands to ourselves usually by our sides (I’ll remember the clutch next time; it gives you something to hold and doesn’t feel so awkward). Some officials extended their hands others did not. None of us were offended we knew we were in another country and respected their culture and traditions.

I should add that whenever we separated from the official delegation and activities most of the women did wear abayas and cover their hair. It made our interactions easier and seemed like the right thing to do. I still have my abaya and fond memories of my time in Saudi Arabia.

Saudi Foreign Minister Saud al-Faisal listens to U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice before a joint news conference with U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates in Jeddah. (Hassan Ammar/AFP/Getty Images)

It has been many months since I was able to send a newsletter. 2014 proved to be a particularly challenging year as I served as the chair of the Greater Houston Convention & Visitors Bureau during a time of significant change. I am grateful to my clients, colleagues, family and friends who supported my work during this time.

Now as we are in the early weeks of a new year, I am excited to be focused once again on my work. We are in the process of redesigning the Executive Diplomat so be on the lookout in the coming months. In the meantime, we are launching Protocol Perspective. On any given day there are interesting stories about various aspects of protocol, diplomacy, cross-culture and etiquette issues. Protocol Perspective will allow me to share these with you on an occasional basis. These will be short and sweet with a brief commentary. I look forward to your feedback.